Life Lately

As is the Instagram trend, and given I haven’t blogged here since May 2023, I’ve decided to restart the blog with a Life Lately post, to catch you up on what’s been going on and what’s all to come on the blog – because when life is lifing we are invariably given lemons stories.

After publishing my first book Lou Who, and then launching Lou Writes Life, I had great intentions of being a consistent writer, both of blogs and books. But in 2023 changes cascaded in from all angles which caused my ability to “write life” to severely drop off. But I guess you can’t write life without living life. 

I only found that last part out when I attempted to write book two at the end of 2022 and publish it in 2023. I worked to a similar timeline for book one and I knew the story I wanted to tell, intimately. So I assumed – in all my naivety – that it would be achievable. For a while, especially while on a writing week in Palm Springs by myself right before Christmas 2022, I felt unstoppable, I couldn’t wait to start the discourse around the next story. I was charged by a personal experience that I felt passionately enough to sit down and write over 200 pages about. I was working again with the same self publishing house, and a new editor who I was sure was going to push my storytelling skills far past where they’d been for book one. I was already planning what marketing and social media could look like for it.  

But then, life happens. So life lately has not at all looked like the work / love / life balance I was really hoping for…

Work

A not-to-be-complained-about promotion at work to VP of Marketing in 2022 made fun and frivolous Lou need to put on some big girl pants. At some level I felt like I had earned it, not least because I’d delivered a hugely successful rebrand and repositioning of the company (if I do say so myself) but my dedication to the role was also never in doubt with 10 work trips scattered throughout the year that was far greater than any number I’d ever anticipated. Still, I was marginally shocked and, of course, dogged by my old friend imposter syndrome when my boss called me with the news. I was excited by the challenge, and grateful for the trust being put in me, but I can now firmly say I did not have adequate understanding of how my life would change as a result. From the continuing work travel commitments, that would only increase in 2023, to the stress of reporting directly to the board, and the general pressure of the entire marketing results resting on my shoulders. It was an exhilarating challenge. But it directly impacted my ability to write consistently – I would rarely feel compelled to switch to my personal laptop from my work laptop after a ten hour work day. But the bills need to be paid and I was warming to the idea of pushing my corporate career as far as I could, so the “VP” title was one I became more akin to than “writer” – there’s a blog post already started in my drafts folder about why I / we feel the need to pick only one identity…

Love

Life also had some fun additions to make, and after writing a book about failed relationships and (mostly) awful dates, my fortunes changed as I met someone who would change my life. Someone who would be a partner in all the relational healing I still had to do, someone who would jump on a plane with me to all and any of the work trips to random (Pittsburgh), fun (San Antonio) and not so fun (St Louis) places, and someone who would inspire a life move from Kitsilano to West Vancouver. In all my years of hoping to find a healthy, happy and whole relationship, I had misjudged the time that change (of any sort) can take to settle into. And for all my life’s changes, I’m still not the best at change. I’m better! But it’s still a bit of work. Adjusting to good changes though sure beats adjusting to another pile of shit being poured onto your plate. 

Life

Talking of shit, in early 2024 I suffered what clinicians would consider an “abnormal period”. The sort they talk about as if it’s just a blip on a chart but in reality feels like your insides are being ripped out and you’re pretty convinced there‘s no way you aren’t bleeding out with the volume of fluid leaving your body. The type which starts four days late but goes on for seven. The type that has you close to vomiting from the pain and being unable to consume painkillers in any quantity close to making a difference. I didn’t know at the time but this wasn’t going to be a one and done type of cycle “blip”. Life instead was going to take me the closest to physically breaking I’ve maybe ever been. Emotionally, mentally? Oh yah, those have been broken before, and written about. Physically? Yes, my fainting was bad but this… next level. 

This story is still ongoing and is nowhere near finished but what I found out in the last few weeks has made me compelled to write again. Not least because I shared about my egg freezing here and this, befuddlingly, is possibly related. Women’s health and reproductive health isn’t a crusade now per se, but I do know how important the stories I heard shared by others have been to me, so talking (/writing) about it? Yeah, I’m gonna do that. 

So between not knowing what’s happening to my body, 40 creeping up on me real fast, career opportunities causing identity crises, relationship learnings that seem to get harder with age, fertility decisions on timelines I did not sign up for, friendships changing beyond recognition, and general everyday struggles leading to  “why am I such a crap [insert life role here]” questioning, there is more than enough for me to be putting out weekly blog posts for the rest of the year. I mean, I won’t, but I could. Instead I’ll write when life allows knowing that some things don’t change; I still have a lot to say 😉